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One of the great joys of marriage is being friends with married people.

One of the great challenges of divorce is being friends Looking for a married or divorced friend married people. Divorce creates a divideand it is often a surprise which of your friends stands with you as you dive into the chasm of separation, parenting plans, division of assets, moving, dating, changing identity and showing up to weddings without fivorced familiar plus one. I am one of those women. I knew single mothers when I got divorced a decade ago, many of them older than me who became mentors as I navigated family court and solo parenting.

I had a crew of single ladies, many of them who stepped forward to guide me through online dating apps and talk to me on weekend nights when I was home alone, eating sushi and drinking wine on the floor of my Ladies seeking nsa Landover Maryland 20785 apartment.

11 Things Divorced People Want To Say To Their Married Friends

There were also married moms who came forward, swiftly and eagerly, offering to pick up my son from school or host pizza parties at their homes on Friday nights. This served me — and saved me — many times. The list of criticisms is long and cuts deep.

Because of their own relationships. Because of the drama.

Divorcing people will be prodded by others to share the dirty details. There will come a point when that kind of disclosure just keeps the divorcee sitting in a muddy pool of negativity.

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They want the gossip, the drama, the deflection from their own lives or issues. Your divorce gunk feels exciting and energizing to them, so they oLoking digging, asking, degrading. Because of their own assumptions.

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But each divorce has its own two people, set of circumstances, negotiations, pains and opportunities. And only experts, like attorneys and therapists and coaches and people going through it can really see that spectrum.

They were right. I moved and I moved on.

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I got a full-time job and new friends. I no longer wanted to be a part of that dynamic.

Change is hard and also goodI repeated nightly to myself and to my son in the dark quiet of his room. But for some people, change is only hard, and they lash out, grasping too tightly, staying stuck.

Of course, Looking for a married or divorced friend were married moms who rose up in magnificent ways, who apologized when they hurled judgment at me, who went away for a while but then came back and who were more curious than critical. A single mom friend of mine echoed this all recently on my podcast while we talked about the lessons and regrets of divorce. Can divorced women be friends with married people?

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Of course. But should they be your only friends?

8 Things Single Women Want Their Married Friends To Know | HuffPost

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